Sunday, December 6, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Since my boy Waterborn gave us the Chemistry of Hell I thought I'd share this little nugget in honor of Dr. Ned's Zombie Island.
By Jacob Goldstein
"The zombies are coming! Quick, call the mathematicians!
In particular, you may want to get Robert Smith on the phone. (That question mark isn’t a typo. We’ll explain it later.) He’ll tell you that if you try to quarantine the zombies you won’t catch them all, so “it’s basically humans fighting it out with slightly fewer zombies than there were before.” That’s not what you want, given that you’re dealing with flesh-eating, undead monsters that will either kill you or bite you and turn you into one of them.
If you go for a cure, “unless the cure was 100%, which it would never be in reality, you can’t turn all the zombies back.” You wind up with “this equilibrium where people are always switching back and forth” between human and zombie. Entirely unsatisfactory.
The only solution — and if we haven’t learned this from zombie movies, we haven’t learned a damn thing — is to mount wave after wave of military attacks. That should get rid of the zombies in about a week and a half, according to Smith?’s equations. And who can argue with equations?
(We’ll pause here to address that question mark. Smith? added it to the end of his name when he was 17, in an effort to distinguish himself from the countless Robert Smiths in the world.)
Be warned: The tone is light, but the mathematics are heavy. This, Smith told us, is the point. The chapter grew out of an assignment he gave a class at the University of Ottawa, where he is an assistant professor specializing in disease modeling.
“I said to the students, you can do anything you want, as long as it’s modeling disease.” When a group of students came back with the idea of a zombie outbreak, he encouraged them, and pushed them to make their models more complex.
One example: Tweaking the math to include a lag time between exposure to a zombie and zombification (a feature common to many diseases). “In Shaun of the Dead, you see that his mother gets bitten by a zombie, and his father gets bitten, and they’re not yet zombies,” he said. “That really affected us — we said, we’ve got to put that latency period in.”
Finally, the students were interested in a mathematical technique that looks at intermittent pulses of activity. So they modeled a human counterattack that came in multiple waves.
“While aggressive quarantine may contain the epidemic, or a cure may lead to coexistence of humans and zombies,” they concluded, “the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often.” "
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Haute Gaming Couture
Here's a neat little magazine I stumbled upon. Really cool mix of high fashion and gaming/gadget pron. The photoshoots are especially interesting, as showcased by this set of where video games are actually made:
Super Mario Bros
Sonic The Hedgehog
Check out the homepage for more photos and articles - www.amusement.fr/
Monday, November 23, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Well folks, I quit my crappy DJ gig tonight. And next week I embark on my new adventures as a full time college advisor. Quite frankly, I'm glad for the change. I've been burnt out on DJing for the past 6 months at least, and I'm ready to take an extended hiatus from that scene. Of course, the irony in that statement is that I haven't really been in the 'REAL' scene for about a year, but I haven't really missed that either. I'm enjoying nesting with my future wife too much to care.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Think With Your Dick, Get Tricked
This little story has been making the rounds on the internets this week:
It's especially pertinent to me as I live in Brooklyn, and know 90% of the bars and restaurants name-dropped, as well as all the places this beeyotch lived. I also have to navigate the sea of douchebaggery that Williamsburg has become in the short 9 years I've lived here everytime my fiancee and I want to go see a band or have a semi-decent dinner out. I mean, the California hippie in me feels bad for both the girl and her victims, but the cold-hearted bastard in me is thinking 'Serves you right, cocksuckers, for falling for any dumb bitch who is sexually agressive. Go back to your flyover state.' This story confirms my theory that all these Brooklyn hipster fucks really ARE as stupid as they look.
Oy vey, there ain't nothing worse than some drunken after-work fuck. You know who I'm talking about, docker-wearing oafs that peaked in high school, working their way up to middle management only to get replaced 2 years before retirement kicks in. I got news for you guys: we got a black president, the age of white male entitlement is coming to a close, so learn yourselves some fucking manners! The girls that like these kinds of guys aren't much better. Anytime one of them comes up to request a song, I very politely tell them that "I don't take requests" and they look at me like I just put a cat turd in their vodka cranberry. Just cause mommy and daddy never said 'no' to you doesn't mean the rest of the world won't.
I'm not all spit and vinegar. In real life, my fiancee wears the pants in our relationship. I'm really just a nice guy who gets frustrated with all of the rude, self-entitled folks in the world. So on a lighter note, I want to give a big hug to Washington, D.C. Yep, the entire city. I was just down there last month for a conference for my day job, and you know what? People actually wait for you to get off the train before getting on at the subway stops! Unheard of in NYC. Thanks for being polite, D.C.!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Really though, white folks are kinda pussies. And it's OK, I'm white so I can say shit like that and get away with it. Case in point: I'm doing the rare Saturday shift at my bar gig as a favor to the other DJ, and the place cleared out at 2am. THIS IS NEW YORK FUCKING CITY, the bars stay open til 4am. People should be drinking til the bar closes, then going to an afterhours til 7am, THEN going home and snorting rails and fucking like rabbits. Fucking white people.
On another note, I highly recommend watching the OG "The Longest Yard" - the Burt Reynolds one, not the douchy Adam Sandler remake. As an anthropologist I fucking love the snapshot of 70s American culture it provides. One example: the black inmates come onto the practice field for the first time and one of the white inmates says "Here come the rain clouds." How fucked up and ill is that at the same time? Plus you got Bernadette Peters with a giant pompadour getting down with inmates for money. And Eddie Albert playing a bastard-ass warden, totally opposite from his Green Acres nice guy role. Also, Burt manhandles the fuck out of a lady in the opening scene, 30 years later it still resonates with a "holy shit he just tossed that girl!" kinda vibe. Oh yeah, the other ill shit is the dude from Moonraker who played Jaws is in it too. Oh shit! I forgot about the transvestite Supremes!
That's all I gotta say for now. Eat chocolate bunnies tomorrow bitches!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Is my new Hero (yes, Hero, not hero). Kurt Vonnegut truly is an American treasure. I strongly urge all you old farts around here to pick up and read Timequake. It's the perfect blend of fiction, auto-biography and cranky-old-man observations about life, wrapped in a sci-fi story-line that holds a mirror up to alot of the absurdities of life.
This Fucking Guy, Too
And I'm talking about Gregory House, not Hugh Laurie. I'd say he's an American treasure too, if it weren't for the fact that Hugh is British. My girl got me hooked on this show, and even though it's the same tired recipe every week (patient comes in with inexplicable condition, team works on multiple solutions, they find one that works 35 minutes in, 10 minutes later there is another complication that renders that solution worthless, House figures out what is really wrong during a totally unrelated conversation, saves the day in the last 5 minutes. Rinse. Repeat.) I love his cantakerous banter and Lisa Edelstein's righteous pistons.
Happy Birthday Queen Latifah!
Keep it saucy for another 39 years, aight?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Also, in case you haven't realized it, twitter is really for 13 yea
Isn't It Ironic?
You ever notice that money is the root of all evil AND makes the world go round?
On A Lighter Note
It's finally warming up and I'm looking forward to finally taking advantage of our roof this spring/summer
Friday, February 13, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
It's been a minute, but what can I say? Twas the holiday season and my girl got me an Xbox for Xmas, so I've been off fighting the zombie apocalypse, rescuing humanity from intergalatic threats and generally sitting on my ass for the last 6 weeks. Anyways, I've been back to finishing up ripping my hip hop doubles so we're gonna go back into time and visit some prime mid-90s LA rap. Now, Defari is not the biggest name in raps, but this was during an exciting time in the LA rap scene. We had Cut Chemist and Jurassic 5 just starting to emerge and blow up, Beat Junkies were in full swing and starting to take over the airwaves, and the whole Project Blowed scene was on fire. Lootpack, People Under The Stairs...it was a good time to like raps. Enter Evidence and the Dilated Peoples extended family. I actually got this from Defari himself, totally down to earth dude, and was working as a teacher at the time as well. This is one of my favorite Evidence beats before he got boring to my tastes, so hopefully you'll enjoy it too.
Defari - Change & Switch