Thursday, April 16, 2009


Think With Your Dick, Get Tricked

This little story has been making the rounds on the internets this week:

Hipster Grifter

It's especially pertinent to me as I live in Brooklyn, and know 90% of the bars and restaurants name-dropped, as well as all the places this beeyotch lived. I also have to navigate the sea of douchebaggery that Williamsburg has become in the short 9 years I've lived here everytime my fiancee and I want to go see a band or have a semi-decent dinner out. I mean, the California hippie in me feels bad for both the girl and her victims, but the cold-hearted bastard in me is thinking 'Serves you right, cocksuckers, for falling for any dumb bitch who is sexually agressive. Go back to your flyover state.' This story confirms my theory that all these Brooklyn hipster fucks really ARE as stupid as they look.


Oy vey, there ain't nothing worse than some drunken after-work fuck. You know who I'm talking about, docker-wearing oafs that peaked in high school, working their way up to middle management only to get replaced 2 years before retirement kicks in. I got news for you guys: we got a black president, the age of white male entitlement is coming to a close, so learn yourselves some fucking manners! The girls that like these kinds of guys aren't much better. Anytime one of them comes up to request a song, I very politely tell them that "I don't take requests" and they look at me like I just put a cat turd in their vodka cranberry. Just cause mommy and daddy never said 'no' to you doesn't mean the rest of the world won't.

Kinder, Gentler

I'm not all spit and vinegar. In real life, my fiancee wears the pants in our relationship. I'm really just a nice guy who gets frustrated with all of the rude, self-entitled folks in the world. So on a lighter note, I want to give a big hug to Washington, D.C. Yep, the entire city. I was just down there last month for a conference for my day job, and you know what? People actually wait for you to get off the train before getting on at the subway stops! Unheard of in NYC. Thanks for being polite, D.C.!

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