Mele Kalikimaka!

Mistaken Identity

I know it's supposed to be a chocolate christmas mouse, but all I hear in my head is "Hiiiiiiiiiiiideeee Hoooooo!"

Marc Ecko + Star Wars + Halo =

HOLIDAY SWAG!

There's also some KISS, Dark Knight, Saw and Friday the 13th swag too:

www.shopecko.com/category/index.jsp

Seriously...WTF!?!

You know, people from other countries around the world always wonder why Americans are so obsessed with race, and then I see shit like this in my local grocery store and it all becomes so clear:

Video Game Minimalism

Courtesy of infinitecontinues. Check out his flickr page for other video game goodies.

Black Friday Alternatives

Courtesy of Attract Mode

attractmo.de/shop/

Math Will Save Your Life!

Since my boy Waterborn gave us the Chemistry of Hell I thought I'd share this little nugget in honor of Dr. Ned's Zombie Island.

By Jacob Goldstein

"The zombies are coming! Quick, call the mathematicians!

In particular, you may want to get Robert Smith on the phone. (That question mark isn’t a typo. We’ll explain it later.) He’ll tell you that if you try to quarantine the zombies you won’t catch them all, so “it’s basically humans fighting it out with slightly fewer zombies than there were before.” That’s not what you want, given that you’re dealing with flesh-eating, undead monsters that will either kill you or bite you and turn you into one of them.

If you go for a cure, “unless the cure was 100%, which it would never be in reality, you can’t turn all the zombies back.” You wind up with “this equilibrium where people are always switching back and forth” between human and zombie. Entirely unsatisfactory.

The only solution — and if we haven’t learned this from zombie movies, we haven’t learned a damn thing — is to mount wave after wave of military attacks. That should get rid of the zombies in about a week and a half, according to Smith?’s equations. And who can argue with equations?

(We’ll pause here to address that question mark. Smith? added it to the end of his name when he was 17, in an effort to distinguish himself from the countless Robert Smiths in the world.)

If you want to really get into it, you can read “When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modeling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection,” a chapter in a forthcoming book on modeling infectious diseases.

Be warned: The tone is light, but the mathematics are heavy. This, Smith told us, is the point. The chapter grew out of an assignment he gave a class at the University of Ottawa, where he is an assistant professor specializing in disease modeling.

“I said to the students, you can do anything you want, as long as it’s modeling disease.” When a group of students came back with the idea of a zombie outbreak, he encouraged them, and pushed them to make their models more complex.

One example: Tweaking the math to include a lag time between exposure to a zombie and zombification (a feature common to many diseases). “In Shaun of the Dead, you see that his mother gets bitten by a zombie, and his father gets bitten, and they’re not yet zombies,” he said. “That really affected us — we said, we’ve got to put that latency period in.”

Finally, the students were interested in a mathematical technique that looks at intermittent pulses of activity. So they modeled a human counterattack that came in multiple waves.

“While aggressive quarantine may contain the epidemic, or a cure may lead to coexistence of humans and zombies,” they concluded, “the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often.” "

blogs.wsj.com/health/2009/08/18/whats-the-best-way-to-fight-zombies-someone-did-the-math/

Video Game Comic Stylings

DJ Malloc created these awesome re-imaginings

More here

Haute Gaming Couture

Here's a neat little magazine I stumbled upon. Really cool mix of high fashion and gaming/gadget pron. The photoshoots are especially interesting, as showcased by this set of where video games are actually made:

Tetris

Super Mario Bros

Sonic The Hedgehog

Check out the homepage for more photos and articles - www.amusement.fr/

Flashter Chief

Now you can save the world and that TPS report at the same time!

http://www.mimoco.com/shop/halo-series

Play With Your Food

Bento box madness from Anna The Red.

Keep Your Unmentionables Squeaky Clean

http://www.digitalsoaps.net/

Changes

Well folks, I quit my crappy DJ gig tonight. And next week I embark on my new adventures as a full time college advisor. Quite frankly, I'm glad for the change. I've been burnt out on DJing for the past 6 months at least, and I'm ready to take an extended hiatus from that scene. Of course, the irony in that statement is that I haven't really been in the 'REAL' scene for about a year, but I haven't really missed that either. I'm enjoying nesting with my future wife too much to care.

So the blog is gonna be changing too, and I'm going to write more about my recently renewed passion: video games.

Yep, nerd alert. Stay tuned for all kinds of gamey shit.

Conclusions

If America expects black folks to learn how to talk and act white, then maybe we should also expect white folks to learn how to dance black.

Bahahahaa!

Think With Your Dick, Get Tricked

This little story has been making the rounds on the internets this week:

Hipster Grifter

It's especially pertinent to me as I live in Brooklyn, and know 90% of the bars and restaurants name-dropped, as well as all the places this beeyotch lived. I also have to navigate the sea of douchebaggery that Williamsburg has become in the short 9 years I've lived here everytime my fiancee and I want to go see a band or have a semi-decent dinner out. I mean, the California hippie in me feels bad for both the girl and her victims, but the cold-hearted bastard in me is thinking 'Serves you right, cocksuckers, for falling for any dumb bitch who is sexually agressive. Go back to your flyover state.' This story confirms my theory that all these Brooklyn hipster fucks really ARE as stupid as they look.

UGH

Oy vey, there ain't nothing worse than some drunken after-work fuck. You know who I'm talking about, docker-wearing oafs that peaked in high school, working their way up to middle management only to get replaced 2 years before retirement kicks in. I got news for you guys: we got a black president, the age of white male entitlement is coming to a close, so learn yourselves some fucking manners! The girls that like these kinds of guys aren't much better. Anytime one of them comes up to request a song, I very politely tell them that "I don't take requests" and they look at me like I just put a cat turd in their vodka cranberry. Just cause mommy and daddy never said 'no' to you doesn't mean the rest of the world won't.

Kinder, Gentler

I'm not all spit and vinegar. In real life, my fiancee wears the pants in our relationship. I'm really just a nice guy who gets frustrated with all of the rude, self-entitled folks in the world. So on a lighter note, I want to give a big hug to Washington, D.C. Yep, the entire city. I was just down there last month for a conference for my day job, and you know what? People actually wait for you to get off the train before getting on at the subway stops! Unheard of in NYC. Thanks for being polite, D.C.!

Punk. Ass. Bitches.

Really though, white folks are kinda pussies. And it's OK, I'm white so I can say shit like that and get away with it. Case in point: I'm doing the rare Saturday shift at my bar gig as a favor to the other DJ, and the place cleared out at 2am. THIS IS NEW YORK FUCKING CITY, the bars stay open til 4am. People should be drinking til the bar closes, then going to an afterhours til 7am, THEN going home and snorting rails and fucking like rabbits. Fucking white people.

On another note, I highly recommend watching the OG "The Longest Yard" - the Burt Reynolds one, not the douchy Adam Sandler remake. As an anthropologist I fucking love the snapshot of 70s American culture it provides. One example: the black inmates come onto the practice field for the first time and one of the white inmates says "Here come the rain clouds." How fucked up and ill is that at the same time? Plus you got Bernadette Peters with a giant pompadour getting down with inmates for money. And Eddie Albert playing a bastard-ass warden, totally opposite from his Green Acres nice guy role. Also, Burt manhandles the fuck out of a lady in the opening scene, 30 years later it still resonates with a "holy shit he just tossed that girl!" kinda vibe. Oh yeah, the other ill shit is the dude from Moonraker who played Jaws is in it too. Oh shit! I forgot about the transvestite Supremes!

That's all I gotta say for now. Eat chocolate bunnies tomorrow bitches!

This Fucking Guy

Is my new Hero (yes, Hero, not hero). Kurt Vonnegut truly is an American treasure. I strongly urge all you old farts around here to pick up and read Timequake. It's the perfect blend of fiction, auto-biography and cranky-old-man observations about life, wrapped in a sci-fi story-line that holds a mirror up to alot of the absurdities of life.

This Fucking Guy, Too

And I'm talking about Gregory House, not Hugh Laurie. I'd say he's an American treasure too, if it weren't for the fact that Hugh is British. My girl got me hooked on this show, and even though it's the same tired recipe every week (patient comes in with inexplicable condition, team works on multiple solutions, they find one that works 35 minutes in, 10 minutes later there is another complication that renders that solution worthless, House figures out what is really wrong during a totally unrelated conversation, saves the day in the last 5 minutes. Rinse. Repeat.) I love his cantakerous banter and Lisa Edelstein's righteous pistons.

MEEEEEOW!!

Final Thought

Happy Birthday Queen Latifah!

Keep it saucy for another 39 years, aight?

Meh

Generally I think blogs are a pile of shit, cause generally I don't really care about the passing thoughts of strangers, I got enough of my own to keep me busy. But since I'm stuck at work at 11:30 on a Friday night I'd thought I'd rant.

Fucking Amateurs

So I work in a bar playing crap music for douchebags two nights a week. It's not all crap, but you can only hear the Greatest Hits for White People From The 80s And 90s so many times. Don't get me wrong, the crappiest DJ gig in the crappiest bar is still better than an equal-paying regular job, but sometimes the people that come in here should just wear a shirt that says "I only go out once a month and I have no taste." Case in point: some girl just asked me "if I can say 'Happy Birthday to Kimmy'". If you want that Chuck E. Cheese shit, then go to Chuck E. fucking Cheese. This is a bar. For grownups. And no, I will not play you Miley Cyrus. This is a bar. For grownups. And please to refrain from calling a bar with a pool table, dart board and no dancefloor a club. A club charges you upwards of $40 just to get in the door, and

usually requires that you change out of your dockers and sensible loafers that you wore at work all day.Also, please do me a favor and know where the hell you are going. Don't look at me incredulously if I won't interrupt my classic rock block to play T-Pain. It's not that type of joint. It's 2009 people, it's really quite easy to go onto google or citysearch and figure out where the hell you are going BEFORE you go out. Besides, this is New York, if you can't find a place that's to your liking in a 5 block radius, then you are lazy and doomed to perpetual cluelessness and I can't help you.

Also, in case you haven't realized it, twitter is really for 13 yea

r old girls with lots of time on their hands.

Isn't It Ironic?

You ever notice that money is the root of all evil AND makes the world go round?
On A Lighter Note

It's finally warming up and I'm looking forward to finally taking advantage of our roof this spring/summer

Stakkin' Chedda

I love this guy.

Lord Sear - Alcoholic Vibes

The Return...

It's been a minute, but what can I say? Twas the holiday season and my girl got me an Xbox for Xmas, so I've been off fighting the zombie apocalypse, rescuing humanity from intergalatic threats and generally sitting on my ass for the last 6 weeks. Anyways, I've been back to finishing up ripping my hip hop doubles so we're gonna go back into time and visit some prime mid-90s LA rap. Now, Defari is not the biggest name in raps, but this was during an exciting time in the LA rap scene. We had Cut Chemist and Jurassic 5 just starting to emerge and blow up, Beat Junkies were in full swing and starting to take over the airwaves, and the whole Project Blowed scene was on fire. Lootpack, People Under The Stairs...it was a good time to like raps. Enter Evidence and the Dilated Peoples extended family. I actually got this from Defari himself, totally down to earth dude, and was working as a teacher at the time as well. This is one of my favorite Evidence beats before he got boring to my tastes, so hopefully you'll enjoy it too.

Defari - Change & Switch